Decisions
by hiiiidee
Summary: How do you choose between what you want and what's expected of you?
1. Chapter 1

Hermione sank into the couch of the Gryffindor common room, her gaze lost within the flames of the fire. She was oblivious to the celebrations around her. She was lost in her thoughts. It took Ginny flopping down next to her to break her from her stare.

"Hey party pooper. Care to explain the serious face?"

Ginny nudged her shoulder into Hermione and gave her a smile. Hermione did her best to muster up a smile, "It's nothing. I just have a lot on my mind."

"You should be excited! We just won a game! Ron and Harry are coming tomorrow to visit."

Hermione sighed, "I know, I should be excited. I just," she shrugged and pulled her hair back into a ponytail, "I guess I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping much lately."

"Are you sure there isn't something else? You've been kind of out of it lately."

Ginny looked concerned and that made Hermione nervous. She didn't want her to press. She wasn't exactly sure how to explain it herself. She just felt different. Like there was something missing. She didn't want to say something and alarm her. Hermione was sure that it would pass. It had to right?

"It's nothing really Ginny. I promise," she said with a reassuring look, "I'm just going to go to bed. I think I will feel better after I get some sleep."

Hermione got up from the couch and Ginny grabber her wrist, "You know you can talk to me right?"

Hermione stared down at one of her closest friends and lied through her teeth. She couldn't talk to her about it.

"I know. Good night Ginny. I'll see you in the morning."

Hermione made her way up the stairs and into the dormitory. She looked around at the other beds and she regretted not taking the position for head girl. She really could have used the privacy right about now. At first Hermione felt at ease with all the other girls but she soon tired of all the chatter and cattiness. She missed Harry and Ron; it wasn't the same without them around. Ginny was a good friend but there was too much that couldn't be said. She couldn't speak openly with Ginny about her brother. She was a Weasley first and Hermione knew that.

As much as she loved Ron, it was clear that things weren't going as planned. Hermione had always imagined being with Ron. He was one of her best friends and she loved him deeply. Lately though things had started to change between them. Hermione had started to notice it when she returned to Hogwarts. As close as they were, being apart changed their dynamic. It was different when they were together all the time. It seemed obvious they would be together. They had grown apart in the months they were separated. Ron was distant and far too consumed with work. Hermione had only seen him once or twice and the letters were scarce. They never had much to say to one another. Hermione often envied Harry and Ginny's relationship. They were constantly writing one another, they had a passion that Ron and she had lost.

Hermione changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed pulling the blanket over her head. Hugging her pillow close she laid in bed and drifted into sleeping, unsure of what tomorrow would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

She stood in front of the mirror and eyed her outfit. It was nothing special, a pair of jeans and her favorite jumper. She tied her hair back into a pony tail and wrapped her scarf around her neck. She had to be at the Three Broomsticks in a half hour. She should have been giddy with excitement instead she felt an uneasiness in her stomach. She wasn't sure how today would go. She had imagined every possibility and she imagined them all ending badly. Giving herself a once over for the last time, she willed herself to move her feet. She promised Ginny she would be down over ten minutes ago. If she waited any longer, she would come in and drag her out.

As they made their way down the crowded, snow packed walkway Ginny chattered on about how excited she was.

"It's been nearly a month since we've seen them! It feels like so much longer doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it really does. It feels like it's been months. I never imagined the day where I would say I missed sharing that tent with them."

Ginny and Hermione both laughed, "You're a stronger girl than I. I would have strangled one of them."

Hermione pushed her friend playfully, "No, you would have strangled Ron. You don't think Harry can do any wrong."

Ginny smiled a toothy grin, "I do not!"

Hermione let out a hearty laugh as they walked through the door into the dusty old tavern. They walked towards their regular table. It was where they had met Ron and Harry each time they visited.

"Hermione!"

His voice boomed over all of the chatter in the small building. She picked him out through the crowd. Pushing her way through a few groups of younger students she made her way to Ron and threw her arms around him.

"I missed you," he said quietly in her ear as he held her close. She tightened her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his chest. Taking in a deep breath she closed her eyes. She had always loved the way Ron smelled. It made her feel comfortable; it made her feel like she was home. That was something that never changed.

She looked up at him, "You want to go outside? It's so loud in here."

With a nod he took Hermione in hand and they pushed their way to the exit and out into the cold winter air. Holding her close they walked along the path towards the shrieking shack, into a small clearing just beyond the trees. Clearing off a fallen tree that had fallen to the ground, they sat down.

"So how are things going? Are you almost done with training?"

Ron grabbed Hermione's hand and kissed it, "We're starting on some small missions. Nothing too dangerous, they have been careful about where they send us. It's left us chomping at the bit. We wanted to make a change. To help bring all these criminals to justice but they're afraid to let us do anything because of who we are."

"Just give it time Ron. You can't expect them to go throwing you into suicide missions. You and Harry are valuable not only for your skills but your knowledge. It will get better.

Ron leaned in and kissed Hermione on her head, "You're right. You're always right."

"Well I am the smart one."

Ron chuckled, "So how are things at Hogwarts?"

"Gryffindor won the game last night. Other than that is has been the same. There aren't as many students this year though. A lot of parents were concerned with safety. A lot of students transferred to other schools. As I told you, I am one of a paltry 15 students in their final year."

"Can you blame them after what went on here?"

"We have to move past all of this. Everyone is still dwelling on the things that happen. It's time we start anew. We can't keep holding on to all this pain. We're no better off."

Ron scoffed at what Hermione said but she continued on, "We didn't fight this war and lose all the people we lost to keep ourselves divided. The 'us versus them' mentality is as strong as ever. They have been hunting down the former death eaters like they had done with the muggle born. What we're doing is no different."

"You're wrong Hermione. What we're doing is making those people pay for the things they have done and the pain they caused."

"It has turned into a witch hunt, pun intended."

Ron rolled his eyes, "I don't want to talk about this."

So she dropped the subject. She wasn't trying to start an argument with him. Instead they sat in silence. This happened quite often. If they weren't butting heads, they weren't speaking. It was part of the reason that Hermione had been so conflicted.

"Ron, Are you happy?"

Giving her a quizzical look Ron answered her slowly, "Of course I am. I mean I complain about work but I really love it. Everything has been going great I couldn't be happier."

Hermione shook her head, "That's not what I mean. Are you happy with me?"

"You're my best friend Hermione."

Frustrated she sighed, "That's still not an answer."

"I love you Hermione."

"I love you too Ron but that doesn't mean you're happy."

Their voices had gotten quiet, near whispers. Both knew that they were treading dangerous waters. It was the elephant in the room that both had chosen to ignore.

"I don't want to lose you Hermione. After everything we've been through-"

Hermione cut him off before he could finish, "after everything we've been through shouldn't we be happy?"

Ron stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of her. Hermione felt a lump form in her throat. With a shaky voice she said, "And as much as I love you, I don't think we make each other happy. Not like we should."

He stopped in front on her and grabbed her hands. He pulled her up to stand with him. Squeezing her hands tightly, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Look at us, we can't talk without arguing. We used to be close now we barely speak. I mean honestly Ronald , can you say that this is what you really want? For us to be like this for the rest of our lives?"

"I don't want to lose you."

Hermione reached up and placed her hand against Ron's cheek, "you could never lose me."

"Isn't that what's happening right now?"

She shook her head, "No, we're just trying things differently. I think we should go back to being friends."

"What if I can't be just a friend anymore?"

"We can't continue on like this. We're both miserable. I'm just the first to admit it."

He went to say something but stopped himself. He couldn't deny what she was saying. It was written all over their faces.

"I really do want to be friends Ron. It took me this long to say anything because I worried about losing you all together."

"I think I need some time."

His demeanor had changed. His body shifted away from her, away from her touch.

"I'm going to go."

With that he grabbed his wand out of his pocket. With a loud crack he left Hermione standing alone. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself but it was too much. She let out a sob before collapsing to her knees. Despite her best efforts she felt like she had lost him completely.


	3. Chapter 3

Walking back to the castle Hermione weighed her options. She could go back to the common room. She could deal with all the stares from her fellow housemates as they whispered about her red, puffy eyes. She couldn't deal with the third degree from Ginny though so she knew that she had to avoid going back to her room. She thought about going to the library as well but that was the first place anyone would look for her. She eventually settled on the room of requirements. It was the one place she could get what she wanted, peace and quiet.

She walked quickly through the hallways and up the stairs until she came to a dead end. She stood still and closed her eyes, imagining the one place she really needed right now. When she opened her eyes, the door had appeared. Walking through the door she was never more grateful for this secret little room. It looked like a muggle hotel room. Everything looked modern a stark contrast from the dark stone and metals that decorated the castle walls. There was a large bed covered in white pillows and a large overstuffed comforter. Hermione thought it looked like a bed of clouds. On the other end of the room were large bookcases that ascended to the ceilings, each filled with countless books, in front of them sat a couch that looked like it was made of slate grey velvet.

She walked towards the couch, admiring the artwork hung from the walls. This wasn't the room Hermione had imagined exactly, she had been thinking of her room back at her parent's house, but she would gladly take this room instead. Hermione eyed the bookshelves, reading the spines of the books to see what was there. So many of them she had read but a few caught her eyes. They were rare books that were no longer in print. Hard to get copies of old writings, things that Hermione had only dreamed of getting her hands on. Eagerly she grabbed one and plopped down on the couch and began to read.

It must have been an hour or two before she heard a noise behind her.

"Excuse me? But what exactly do you think you're doing in here?"

Without looking away from her book Hermione responded, "What does it look like I am doing? I am reading. What are you doing here?"

"This is my bedroom. That's what I am doing here."

Hermione tore her eyes away from the book in her hands to see Draco Malfoy standing before her.

"Your bedroom? Since when does the headmaster give death eaters special privileges like a private bedroom?"

Walking to stand before her Draco Malfoy snatched the book out of Hermione's hand and shut it. He walked over to the bookshelf and put it back.

"Since they've become the student with the biggest target on their back, it's for my safety and for the safety of anyone that decides to start something with me."

Hermione let out a hearty laugh, "I don't understand you. If you're so unwelcome here why stay at all? Your family has enough money to buy you a nice cushy job somewhere. You didn't have to come back."

Draco's eyebrows furrowed, "just because you're a know it all Granger doesn't mean you know all there is to know about me. I have my reasons. Let's just leave it at that."

Hermione lifted her feet and rested them, crossed, on the table in front of her. She let out a stretch and sank deeper into the couch, "Well I think that sounds pretty suspicious. You would think that someone trying to prove they aren't the spawn of Satan would have a little more transparency."

He tried his best to not show that her words bothered him but his face betrayed him. His confidence melted. Despite his best efforts, people still saw him as a monster. They didn't know why he had done the things he did. They hadn't even bothered to let him say his peace. He was resigned to this. He knew it was something he couldn't change.

"So is that the new rumor? That I am evil incarnate?"

His tone had a bite to it. Hermione knew why. She knew what it was like to have everyone talk about you. She was lucky that what was written about her was normally something good. They called her a war hero, treated her like a celebrity. Over the past 6 months the Malfoy's had been painted as the poster children for death eaters. The once powerful family had a stigma around them that made most people stay away.

"They say all kinds of things about you. I'm sure you know that."

Draco shrugged, "let them talk, it doesn't matter what they think anyway."

Hermione was floored, how could he be so cavalier about it? How could he deal with everyone hating him?

"So you have no opinion either way? You're fine with being persona non grata within the wizarding community?"

"People are going to think what they want to think. I am not going to waste my energy attempting to make nice with each and every person who judges me. At the end of the day, I know that I did what I had to do. I can live with that."

"It isn't that easy."

"It really is."

Hermione looked at Draco, attempting to see a crack in the façade. She searched the chiseled features of his face for any hint that he was lying but there was none. He was too good at putting up walls. He had perfected it growing up.

"So Granger, why are you holed up here and not out with the littlest Weasel."

Draco sat down on the couch next to her and loosened the tie around his neck. She shifted away from him.

Draco rolled his eyes, "calm down I am not going to hurt you."

Hermione relaxed a bit, but she was still uneasy. In all the years they had known one another, this was by far the most civil conversation they had ever had.

"I wanted to be alone. Some stuff went on today and I thought it would be best to be left with my thoughts."

"Trouble in paradise with the weasel?"

Hermione stammered, "H-how,"

Draco interrupted her before she could finish, "well if it was anything else, you'd be with the little one. You wouldn't be here by yourself."

Hermione sighed, "I thought I was doing the right thing by both of us. I guess I was wrong."

Draco shrugged, "Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't always mean doing to nice thing."

Hermione looked at Draco. It was obvious that his statement was loaded. It meant more than just the context of what they were speaking about.

"I didn't want to lose him as a friend and I think that's what happened. I can't talk to Ginny about it. I just," she paused trying to find the words to say.

She continued, picking her words carefully.

"I just feel like there is more out there. I love Ron, I really do. But I don't think loving him is enough."

Draco smiled, "since we're speaking openly, I have to say I am surprised you two have lasted as long as you did."

Hermione gazed at Draco with uncertainty, "You're just saying that."

"No I'm not, other than Potter, you two couldn't be more different. You're smart and determined. He isn't strong enough for a woman like you."

Hermione couldn't help but giggle, "Oh please, do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Can you really tell me I'm wrong?"

Draco turned to face Hermione on the couch, "You want someone to challenge you, make you think. Someone that makes you feel that gut wrenching passion. You want to feel alive."

Hermione sat silent. In just a few simple words he had managed to encompass all the uncertainty she had been feeling.

"See, I'm right," He said with a smug smile on his face.

"Why are you being so nice Malfoy?"

He shrugged, "Maybe I'm not the spawn of Satan as you so claimed."

Hermione smiled at him, maybe he was right. Since the end of the war everyone had been quick to put a label on everyone. Hero, bad guy, sympathizer… everyone had their own part to play.

"Maybe you're right."


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione was already sitting in Potions class when he came walking through the door. He wasn't dressed like everyone else. While most students wore the school robes, he dressed as if he were coming from a business meeting. His suit was well made and well-tailored. He wore all black but he still looked striking.

He walked towards Hermione's table and sat down next to her. Instantly, the room erupted into whispers.

Hermione leaned into Draco, her voice low, "everyone is staring at us."

"And?"

His voice mimicked his body language; he was at ease, comfortable even. He didn't care that people were staring. Hermione wished she could have been so confident.

"And they're going to wonder why we're sitting together."

"You're the only person in this building that doesn't completely annoy me. Let them think what they want."

"Malfoy you can't ju-"

"Can't just what? Do you have a partner in this class?"

"No, I don't"

"Then it's settled. We're partners then."

They worked for the rest of class in silence while everyone else in the class gawked at them between mixing ingredients. When class ended, they both gathered their books and walked together towards the Great Hall.

"You know I was thinking about what you asked me last night."

Hermione gave him a quizzical look.

"You asked me why I am being nice."

"Decided to change your answer?"

He stopped in his tracks in front of her and turned to look at her, "no I meant what I said. I know what you think of me. I know what everyone thinks of me. I'm the malevolent death eater and I am expected to play that part."

She went to respond but he put his hand up, silencing her, "I am being nice because there is something in you that I recognize Granger. Despite how different we might seem, I think that we are both going through some very similar things."

"Like what," her tone was skeptical. She laughed at the idea of being anything like him.

"I know what it's like to have your whole life planned out. I know what it's like to have people expect one thing and for you to want something completely different. I know what it's like to lose people for choosing to do the right thing."

She looked deep into his eyes, "why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

She shifted her books in her arms and stepped closer to Draco, "this whole, let's cheer Hermione up thing. It's not your problem."

"I just told you, I know what it's like."

"Do you really? I just lost one of my best friends and I am skating on thin ice with the other thanks to our break up. I am about to lose the only bit of family I have left. Do you know what that's like?"

"More than you can possibly understand."

His voice was low, with an edge of anger to it.

"Why do you think I bothered coming back here Granger? I have nowhere else to go."

Hermione went to say something but by the time the words began to come out he was already halfway down the corridor. Hermione let out a sigh and decided to go back to the common room. She had another two classes but she wasn't feeling up to going.

She had barely taken two steps into the common room when she heard Ginny's voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Hermione kept walking, her eyes fixed to the ground. She knew if she looked at Ginny, she would lose it. She wouldn't be able to keep her thoughts straight if she did that.

She set her bag down on one of the large wooden tables and began to unpack it, eyes still avoiding Ginny's gaze.

"I didn't know how to. I didn't want you to be angry. I didn't want to hurt him. It all blew up in my face."

Hermione sat down at the table and opened her defense against the dark arts text book. She pulled out a stack of parchment and a quill before Ginny sat down next to her. She pulled the quill from Hermione's hand and slammed it on the table.

"Damnit Hermione, you're my best friend. You should have said something."

"You're his sister Ginny. What would you like me to say exactly? That I love your brother but I'm not in love with him? That I didn't want our lives to end up being that way for the rest of our lives?"

Hermione raised her voice a bit, "I have been struggling with this for months now. I have tried to make things work. I have tried to make things better. We are growing apart."

Ginny tried to say something but she came up short. Instead she sat there staring at Hermione.

"It's hard for me too. I didn't want to hurt him. That was the last thing I wanted."

"I know Hermione."

Ginny leaned closer to her and wrapped an arm around her trying to console her.

"I'm sorry Hermione. I was just a little mad that I had to hear about it through a letter from Harry."

Hermione sniffled, "Did he say how Ron is doing?"

Ginny laughed, "He's insufferable as always. Harry says he'll be fine. He was just a little blindsided. Harry trusts that you know what's best. He's going to talk to him once he's had a few days to sulk."

Hermione nodded, she was grateful for Harry. She hoped that he would be able to salvage even the tiniest sliver of their friendship.

"I have to get going to practice. We can talk about it more afterwards okay?"

Hermione nodded her head in agreement, "I'll be here."

She watched as her friend walked out of the common room. Even though she said she would be here when Ginny got back, Hermione knew that she would make herself scarce. She didn't want to have this conversation. She had said what she needed to say.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time her friend returned to the common room Hermione was already gone. She had decided to it was better to be holed up in the library than to wander the halls. She had thought about going to Hagrid's but she didn't want to have to explain when he eventually asked about Ron.

She sat at a small table in the back of the library. Her books sprawled out in front of her but she wasn't paying them any mind. She sat with her head back and her eyes closed, in a half sleep state. Being alone here made her feel comfortable. Hermione knew she would eventually have to talk to Ginny but for now she was fine staying lost amongst the books.

"You know there is a red head asking about you."

She could feel his breath against her ear, his voice barely a whisper. Her eyes snapped open immediately.

"You scared the living day lights out of me."

He chuckled and took the seat opposite from her at the table.

"I have that effect on a lot of people."

Hermione couldn't help but smile. She couldn't understand why Malfoy was being so nice to her but she was glad. It was a good distraction from everything else going on.

"So, are you going to tell me why Ginny Weasley is in the great hall right this very moment asking all of your housemates if they have seen you?"

Hermione cocked her eyebrow at Draco, "And how would you know? Do you make it a habit to listen to what goes on over at the Gryffindor table?"

He gave her an impish grin and shrugged, "Not usually. I was looking for you as well."

Hermione didn't know how to respond. They sat in silence for a minute before Draco finally spoke again.

"So, do you think she'll find you here?"

She rolled her eyes, "you found me here didn't you? I'm sure she'll get the same idea."

"You could always come to my room. I don't mind the company.

Hermione laughed, "Girls aren't supposed to be in the boys dormitories."

"That certainly didn't stop you from barging in last night."

Hermione shook her head, "I didn't know it was your room. That's different."

"You stayed after you found out," his gaze remained steady on her. She grasped at straws for a retort but it was no use. He was right. She didn't leave after she found out it was his room. She very easily could have just walked out.

Hermione looked over her shoulder towards the door; she knew that Ginny would be here to look for her any minute now. She turned back to look at Draco who was shooting a dirty look at a passing second year.

"I stayed because I had nowhere else to go."

Draco wagged his finger at Hermione, "That's just an excuse. You had plenty of places to go."

Hermione changed the topic; she knew that she couldn't win this one.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" He asked.

"Push people away like that. Have you ever thought that people think you're evil because you play into that idea?"

Draco leaned over the table, moving closer to Hermione.

"Can I tell you a secret Granger?"

"By all means, be my guest."

He lowered his voice, "I couldn't care less if these assholes think I'm evil."

Hermione rolled her eyes and pushed him back down to his seat. "I think you're full of it."

He raised an eyebrow at her before putting his hands over his heart. "Your words wound me Granger."

Hermione laughed, balled up a piece of paper and lobbed it across the table at him.

"And you are a horrible liar Malfoy."

He chuckled and threw it back at her but she ducked out of the way. Instead, it flew into the person standing behind Hermione. Malfoy's face morphed, his eyebrows deepened to a furrow and his lips tightened.

"I'll see you in potions tomorrow."

He got up from the table as Hermione turned to see what had changed his mood so quickly.

"Since when do you study with Malfoy?"

Ginny took the seat that he was just occupying. She stared at Hermione silently questioning what she had just walked in on.

Hermione waved her hand dismissively, "I don't. He came and sat down. Was I supposed to tell him to go away?"

Ginny looked around them before leaning in. "Yes that's exactly what I expect. Harry told me what happened at his house. How can you be so friendly with someone who has caused everyone so much pain?"

"We were just having a conversation Ginny. I was studying. He came and sat down."

Ginny eyed Hermione suspiciously, "If you say so."

Hermione wanted to change the subject and quick, she didn't have an explanation for why she was talking to Malfoy.

"Ready to head back to the common room?"

She stuffed all of books back into her bag and threw it over her shoulder. Her and Ginny walked in silence back to the common room. It wasn't until they got settled in the common room that Ginny began to ask her more questions. At first Ginny grilled her about Malfoy. She couldn't understand why she was talking to him and if Hermione was being completely honest, she wasn't too sure herself. There was something about him that had changed. Hermione recognized it that first night they spoke, when she had been in his room. She couldn't say that to Ginny though, it sounded like a bad cliché from a movie. Hermione was able to change the subject and finally she really talked with Ginny about what happened with Ron. She explained how she felt, that the passion had left their relationship. She explained to her how it had all seemed to make perfect sense during the war, that afterwards, after the urgency and danger had truly subsided and they had gone back to their normal lives, their dynamic changed. How she would always love him but couldn't stay with him because it would be cheating both of them out of the chance to be truly happy.

By the time they went to bed that night, Hermione had cleared the air with her friend. She had felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Ginny admitted that she was bummed that she wouldn't have Hermione as part of her family one day but in the end she assured her that she would support her, as long as it made her happy.


	6. Chapter 6

She stared at him from across the table. They had made a habit of meeting here every night after dinner. At first it was just coincidence, at least that's what Malfoy called it. Hermione knew better than that though. Both had shown up in hopes of finding the other waiting there. She couldn't explain this dance they were doing. It had gone on for nearly a month. Mostly they talked about nonsense; they would discuss rumors floating around the castle or things they read in a book or the paper. There were times though where the conversation would take a serious turn. Hermione liked these times the best. It was the only time she was able to peer behind the façade he portrayed.

"I was mean to you because I resented you."

Hermione laughed at what he said, "What for?"

"You were the brightest in our year. After growing up in my household, being fed all that nonsense about blood purity, it enraged me that my best simply wasn't good enough."

"Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

He scoffed, "you didn't grow up with my father."

"What does that mean?"

His lips turned up at the corners, "It means you live with the fact that you are never good enough. My father strived for excellence. He strived for power and he taught me to want the same. I spent most of my school life being chided for allowing an 'inferior being' to get the better of me."

Hermione shook her head, "he was a foolish man."

"No," he shook his head. "He was weak. He allowed his ego to tear his family apart. It was more important to be feared by all than loved by those closest by him. Even at his lowest point, we were nothing more than bargaining chips for him."

"Is that why you took the dark mark?"

Draco looked down at the table, "No, I did that on my own volition. My father had already been sent to Azkaban. We were sitting ducks. I did what needed to be done to keep my family safe. But that turned out to be my biggest mistake. It didn't make me any safer. It put a target on my back. I was set up to fail."

"Why not run?"

"Where was I going to run to? The order? If word got back to Voldemort that I had switched sides my parents would have been slaughtered."

Hermione nodded her head. She knew as well as he did that Voldemort would have punished him if he had tried to switch sides.

"The more I saw, the more it became clear that I wanted no part in any of it. I didn't want to see Potter dead. I didn't want to kill Dumbledore. I couldn't kill him. That night in the astronomy tower was the final straw. After that night, everything changed."

Hermione closed her eyes and thought back to that night. She remembered it like it was yesterday. That day changed everything for her as well.

"I know I haven't said it before but I want you to know that had I been able to do something, I would have."

"What are you talking about?"

Draco reached across the table and grabbed Hermione's arm. He pulled up her sleeve revealing the scar left by Bellatrix, a mar on her skin that reminded her of darker times.

"This," his thumb rubbed over the jagged raised writing on her skin, "that night I was a coward."

Hermione pulled her arm from him and pushed his sleeve down.

"It's in the past."

She looked down at the table, her eyes avoiding Draco's. He had hit a nerve. Hermione still had nightmares about that night, about the things Bellatrix had done to her. She wouldn't talk about that night. Not here, not now.


	7. Chapter 7

For the first time in her life Hermione had no interest in being in class. It wasn't even lunch time and she was ready to head back to the dorms. She slept barely a wink the night before. After her talk with Draco, her mind was racing. He had brought up something that she had tried to forget. It was the one thing that she had told everyone she'd never talk about. That night at Malfoy Manor was the worst night of her life. It was the only time through the whole ordeal where she really felt like she had given up hope. Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. She had spent so long trying to bury the memories of that night. She wouldn't let Malfoy sabotage that.

"You look like shit today."

She looked up from her text book to see Draco Malfoy standing before her.

"Yeah, it happens sometimes."

She motioned to the seat next to her and he sat down.

"Who would have thought your normal state actually required preening?"

She shot him a dirty look, "wow, you really know how to compliment a woman."

He let out a chuckle and pushed her shoulder, "oh come on Granger lighten up it was a joke."

She forced out a false laugh. "Oh Malfoy, you are just too funny."

He rolled his eyes at her before grabbing his bag and pulling out his books. He pulled out his wand and whispered, "incendio.". A small spit of flame shot out the end, lighting a fire underneath the cauldron before him.

"I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have brought it up."

He didn't look at her as he spoke. Hermione eyed him carefully. She didn't know what he was working towards.

"Then why did you?"

She waited for him to respond but he said nothing. Instead they sat in silence until Professor Slughorn started class. He lectured on and on about the importance of proper preparation while preparing a draught of peace. He stressed the importance of proper stirring and temperatures but Hermione was far too preoccupied with her own thoughts to worry about anything he said.

After class she quickly gathered her books and ran off. She could have sworn she heard Draco calling her name. She didn't dare to turn and look.

* * *

She was eating dinner when she noticed him walk in. Even though he didn't sleep in the Slytherin dormitories, he still continued to sit at their table. Most of them had welcomed him back with open arms; most of them understood the stigma that followed him. All of them had turned their backs when their fellow classmates really needed them.

"Earth to Hermione," Ginny waved her hand in front of Hermione's face.

"I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

Ginny pouted, "Christmas. You're invited, are you going to come?"

Hermione smiled at the idea. She had always loved spending time at the Burrow. It was one of the few places on earth that she could feel at home. Deep down though she knew it was a bad idea. She hadn't spoken to Ron since their break up. She didn't want to be the catalyst for a fight.

"I would love to but I have to say no."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "You can't just cut yourself out of the family. You're still one of us."

"I know," Hermione paused and looked over at the Slytherin table. Draco was staring at her unabashedly. "It just seems like a bad idea. I'm just going to stay here."


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione had woken up in a sweat. She could feel her heart racing. It was a nightmare, it was the nightmare. It was always the same; it started with her lying on the cold tile of Malfoy's floor looking around trying to avoid the eyes of those that had been torturing her relentlessly. Focus on the ceiling; don't let them see you crack. That was her mantra, over and over again. It was never enough to quell the pain. It was never enough to make her feel like she could get through it. Her body would contort as she carved into her arm. She would scream till her throat burned and her voice was weak. Nothing helped. Nothing saved her. She was trapped.

She sat up and ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath. She looked around at the other girls in the room, all of which were dead asleep. Quietly she got dressed and headed down into the common room. She knew that going back to sleep was out of the question. After skimming through a book absentmindedly she had made up her mind. She needed to fresh air.

She shushed the fat lady as she climbed out of the doorway and made her way down the hallway not sure of where she was heading. At first she thought of heading down to the library but knew that she would most likely be caught there. Then she weighed the idea of heading down to the lake and sitting by the water. Again, she thought that would be too risky. Before she realized it, she was standing at a dead end of a hallway. She had known exactly where she was. She had wandered to the room of requirements.

Closing her eyes, she thought of the one thing she needed. She needed the answer to her questions. It was his fault that she had been thinking about that night. She needed to talk to Draco. She felt the deep rumbling in the stones beneath her feet. She opened her eyes again and before her was the door. Taking a deep breath she turned the door knob and walked inside.

"Don't you think it's a little late to pop by for a visit?"

He was lying on his bed with a book in his hand. His other arm was stretched up and propped under his head.

"I couldn't sleep," her tone was edgy and dangerous.

He laughed and set down his book. He motioned towards the sofa, an invitation for her to sit down.

"So you thought you could just wander into my room?"

She rolled her eyes, "let's not do this okay?"

He walked over to the couch and sat down beside her. Draco eyed her carefully, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm here to talk about the other night."

He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a nervous chuckle.

"I apologized for that."

"You never told me why you brought it up. I want to know."

He nodded his head, "I don't think you'll believe me.

"Try me," she said.

"In a time of uncertainty two will come together. One of great bravery and one of great regret, they will come together to heal the fractures of the whole of the people. First enemies, then friendship, then love. Together they can change the course of history. Apart they will fail. Until all is atoned, the world will be fractured in pieces. The love between two becomes the love of all."

She looked at him as if he had lost his mind. He was talking in riddles.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He sighed, "It's a prophecy, one with two sets of initials, 'DLM and HJG'."

She snorted, "You think it's us don't you?"

He shook his head, "No Granger, I don't think it's us. I know it's us."

"And I am just supposed to believe this?"

He stood up in front of her. He began to pace back and forth, "Listen, I know it sounds crazy. You have no reason to believe me. But answer me this Granger; why else do you think that it has been so easy to look past everything I have done?"

He grabbed his wand and placed it against his forehead. He closed his eyes and muttered a few words under his breath before slowly pulling his wand away. A small billow of silvery liquid followed the tip of his wand as he placed it into a small vile he pulled from a shelf.

He handed her the vile and said, "Look for yourself if you don't believe."


End file.
